Thank you so much, Alexandra! This means so much to me. I rarely get feedback on the graphics so I never know if they are helpful or superfluous. I appreciate you so much!
Everything in this post is indeed, like you mentioned somewhere in your post: βbeyond wordsβ. It even feels like a psychologist giving out the best advice. Perfectionism can keep us down (believe me, I know the feeling) for a while or a lifetime (donβt let that happen) and we must just do it! I cannot be more grateful for the wise words your substack offers! Keep doing what you do, it really does make the difference. Thanks!
This is the kindest compliment Iβve received in a while, and itβs feedback like this that reminds me that the work Iβm doing is worthwhile. Thank you so much π
Jen, thank you for sharing. I very much resonate with the perfectionism part. Most of the suffering comes from stories we create in our heads on how things should be. Then reality is not meeting these bizarre expectations, we suffer. And we blame the world, when our mindset is the problem. Keep up the good work.
No one starts off as an expertβeveryone figures out how things work along the way. So true, a wonderful post full of insight and wisdom. The quality is in the experience, learning and adapting and improving along the way.
Thank you, Harun! I appreciate this immensely, as I didnβt get much feedback on the passage about βpersonal truthsβ and worried it might not resonate.
Every upset, annoyance, or 'unhappiness' is preceded by an expectation. I discovered it around the 7th grade and managed my emotions by changing my expectations. The ones I found difficult to change, I labeled commitments. Sets up a point of self-righteousness, however. Eventually, I discovered preferences are the precursors to all expectations. We live in a world asking us for OUR preferences. When I realized it was my ego that was upset, everything changed. As I separated mySelf from my identity the ego form, I was watching the upset trigger without honoring it. I could be chastised, and I would begin to chuckle or laugh, not at them but at the old habit of reaction I was leaving. It has become easier to say "thank you" to expectations as they clue me to the ego rants no longer in control of my behavior.
I like what you said RE objective vs subjective reality.
My first instinct is to say βwhat if objective reality was suspended entirely within subjective realityβ i.e. nothing is truly objective because humans created objective reality - theyβre fabricated structures of mind.
But you know whatβs more important than being right or wanting someone to see things the way you do? Just respecting and loving your fellow human whoβs right in front of you. Think thatβs a great example of what youβre saying here.
Also, youβre likely right when people say βmy truthββ¦ most likely thatβs hitting on a deep unconscious wound somewhere and itβs hard to be βobjectiveβ about it so all you can do is be βsubjectiveβ about it and try and stop whatever is happening. But then again, still think we should strive to respect that truth (even if it doesnβt align to ours) going back to the point above!
Jen, 5 Big Ideas reminded me of BHAG as I remember when it appeared in 2004 in the book "Built to Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies " by Jim Collins and Jerry Porras. Collins and Porras abbreviated Bg Hairy Audacious Goals as BHAG, which is pronounced bee hag. More than that, the idea of Personal Truths resonated with me as I have been referencing Daniel Patrick Moynihan's quote frequently: "You are entitled to your own opinions, Sir. You are not entitled to your own facts." When people present their opinions as reality, it might be their reality, not necessarily based on hard evidence.
I needed this β¦ itβs a time of big change for me ! ππ»β€οΈ
You and everyone else, Janine! You got this πͺπ½
I loved the graphics today just as much as your words, Jen. The object vs subject stopped me in my reading tracks.
My son also would like for me to "JUST DO IT" after watching the motivational Shia clip at the end!
DOOO ITTTT!
Thank you so much, Alexandra! This means so much to me. I rarely get feedback on the graphics so I never know if they are helpful or superfluous. I appreciate you so much!
This essay so beautiful, and so important, Jen.
βShe said it was as if she was starting to learn who her husband was for the first time and falling in love with him all over again.β
πβ€οΈπ
Thank you, James! π€
Thanks for the truths πππ
Thank you for reading, Ibrahim! Itβs the greatest gift. π
Everything in this post is indeed, like you mentioned somewhere in your post: βbeyond wordsβ. It even feels like a psychologist giving out the best advice. Perfectionism can keep us down (believe me, I know the feeling) for a while or a lifetime (donβt let that happen) and we must just do it! I cannot be more grateful for the wise words your substack offers! Keep doing what you do, it really does make the difference. Thanks!
RubΓ©n, I canβt help but tell you this: you made my day!
This is the kindest compliment Iβve received in a while, and itβs feedback like this that reminds me that the work Iβm doing is worthwhile. Thank you so much π
Glad to hear that, thatβs what this is all about. Youβre welcome!
Jen, thank you for sharing. I very much resonate with the perfectionism part. Most of the suffering comes from stories we create in our heads on how things should be. Then reality is not meeting these bizarre expectations, we suffer. And we blame the world, when our mindset is the problem. Keep up the good work.
Thank you Tomas! I appreciate you so much and this feedback means everything to me.
I hope you keep up the good work, too π€
No one starts off as an expertβeveryone figures out how things work along the way. So true, a wonderful post full of insight and wisdom. The quality is in the experience, learning and adapting and improving along the way.
Absolutely, Sue! Could not have said it better myself π
Thank you, Jen, that's amazing. Sending lots of love.
2 resonated with me a lot. The truth should be objective, if not itβs merely an opinion.
Thank you, Harun! I appreciate this immensely, as I didnβt get much feedback on the passage about βpersonal truthsβ and worried it might not resonate.
Thank you so much π€
Youβre welcome, Jen. Glad my comment was of some help.
Even more dangerous today under an umbrella of flawless AI perfectionβ¦
ABSOLUTELY! Thanks for pointing this out, Donna!
Loved it! Especially "dropping expectations." Starting over new friends sounds scary, but exciting!
Thank you, Falak! And the only friends I recommend letting go of are the ones who were never really friends after all.
Every upset, annoyance, or 'unhappiness' is preceded by an expectation. I discovered it around the 7th grade and managed my emotions by changing my expectations. The ones I found difficult to change, I labeled commitments. Sets up a point of self-righteousness, however. Eventually, I discovered preferences are the precursors to all expectations. We live in a world asking us for OUR preferences. When I realized it was my ego that was upset, everything changed. As I separated mySelf from my identity the ego form, I was watching the upset trigger without honoring it. I could be chastised, and I would begin to chuckle or laugh, not at them but at the old habit of reaction I was leaving. It has become easier to say "thank you" to expectations as they clue me to the ego rants no longer in control of my behavior.
You have such an informed and thoughtful outlook on life. I love this, Michael! Thank you π€
Very. good stuff! Thanks!
Thank you, Rick!
Thank you, Rick!
All of this is great information! Keep up the good work :-)
Thank you, Luke! I appreciate you!
I like what you said RE objective vs subjective reality.
My first instinct is to say βwhat if objective reality was suspended entirely within subjective realityβ i.e. nothing is truly objective because humans created objective reality - theyβre fabricated structures of mind.
But you know whatβs more important than being right or wanting someone to see things the way you do? Just respecting and loving your fellow human whoβs right in front of you. Think thatβs a great example of what youβre saying here.
Also, youβre likely right when people say βmy truthββ¦ most likely thatβs hitting on a deep unconscious wound somewhere and itβs hard to be βobjectiveβ about it so all you can do is be βsubjectiveβ about it and try and stop whatever is happening. But then again, still think we should strive to respect that truth (even if it doesnβt align to ours) going back to the point above!
Roc - I LOVE where youβre going with this. And Iβm excited to read your article on subjectivity vs objectivity!
The inevitability of change and releasing of expectations and attachments opens the way to remarkable and life-changing opportunities.
You got it, Jim! Thank you π
Jen, 5 Big Ideas reminded me of BHAG as I remember when it appeared in 2004 in the book "Built to Last: Successful Habits of Visionary Companies " by Jim Collins and Jerry Porras. Collins and Porras abbreviated Bg Hairy Audacious Goals as BHAG, which is pronounced bee hag. More than that, the idea of Personal Truths resonated with me as I have been referencing Daniel Patrick Moynihan's quote frequently: "You are entitled to your own opinions, Sir. You are not entitled to your own facts." When people present their opinions as reality, it might be their reality, not necessarily based on hard evidence.
Wow, Gary!
Never thought of this newsletter as it relates to BHAG, but I love it! Thank you for sharing.
Also, the quote from Daniel Patrick Moynihan is incredible! Iβll have to write that one down and reference it at some point. Thank you π€