Really enjoyed this piece Jen. The progress vs expansion discussion helped to shift a paradigm that I have been holding onto in my own life. In some ways I have been waiting for time to pass just to put some distance between me and some choices/changes over the last few years but I have also seen the benefits they have given me. Thinking of that time as “expanding” is quite freeing and makes it more digestible.
Boundaries is such an interesting topic and one I have to work on with so many clients. It’s amazing how impactful they can be to our mental health, yet how incredibly difficult they are for people to hold them when they are in the thick of it.
Thank you, Cody! And between your newsletter and podcast and the work that you do on personal growth and overcoming limitations, you’re certainly expanding. I can’t imagine another word to describe it
What we measure defines who we become, as people and organizations. Metrics can drive improvement, or the car off of a cliff. Choosing the correct metric is risky business, get it wrong and we're off for a decade.
Also been thinking about boundaries. I, too, had a corporate gig that left me feeling empty, and it was exactly what I had worked very hard to achieve.
Prior to the corporate gig I had enlisted in the Army to escape my circumstances in my hometown, and maybe myself. It was the right choice for me. Finished undergrad/grad school, learned a foreign language in Monterey, lived overseas, and grew up quite a bit-mostly because of boundaries & consequences.
The emptiness of corporate America pushed me back to the military just as the wars were kicking off.
I didn't know it until then that my work needed to matter. The Army in a time of war was meaningful, it mattered, and I loved it.
Didn't want to go to war when I joined, but once I was on the team and war was imminent--I wanted to play my role. Probably an XY thing--but we need to know we are not cowards. Do we have what it takes? Can we can be loyal to our friends, our fellow Soldiers? Can I face down the BIG SCARY. I wasn't afraid of death as much as I was afraid of failing those who counted on me. It is REAL. War is a decade distilled into one year.
War requires an expansive effort, but there is a cost. Drinking Everclear vs vodka.
It is scarier to work as an artist, an entrepreneur, a dreamer--mostly because we do this alone.
Watched Baby Reindeer recently. Do not know if I recommend it. But it has left a mark. I'm still unpacking--but in the end I see it as the logical outcome of no boundaries, incorrect metrics, and an absence or opacity of values. Dark. Patterns, especially negative patterns are especially difficult to drop. Trauma is passed on genetically, and familiar pain is often more attractive than unknown freedom.
This blog leaves me feeling light and hopeful. Baby Reindeer not so much.
You say this blog brings you light and hope, but you bring me light and hope.
I understand where you’re coming from re: the corporate job. I was talking to my partner about this just this morning. I felt so drained “working” to pursue someone else’s dreams in a corporation that I would come home from work emotionally exhausted from putting my needs aside all day long. Then I’d binge food, social media, alcohol, and “hang out” as a numbing and/or distraction mechanism.
And I agree that there’s inherent meaning to work that is “mission critical.” While I can’t fathom how meaningful it is to serve in the military (thank you for your service—without the courage of people like you, we wouldn’t all have the freedom to pursue meaningful work in this country), I do have a sense that the creative work I’m doing is rather “mission critical;” if not for others, then at least for myself.
I write these “5 Big Ideas” primarily for myself because I make mistakes often, I follow the voice of ego instead of the voice of reason often, and I get stuck in harmful patterns often. But I know these are incredibly universal human things, so I put this advice out there in case others can benefit from them, too.
You say I’m brave for putting this out there, but I think you’re brave. For facing the BIG SCARY, for pursuing work that’s REAL, for your loyalty and courage and fear of letting others down.
Thank you for your courage. It’s inspiring. It’s “in spirit.”
The word expansion really resonates with me. I’ve considered evolution and growth as value words for me but they felt too one-directional and with judgment (towards “better”/ improved). Expansion feels right.
Great post, Jen. Yes to expansion and becoming bigger and better version of ourselves. Walt Whitman’s words come to mind: “I am large, I contain multitudes.”
Well said, as usual. Interesting that you mentioned boundaries because I need help setting up the paywall on my Substack, and I was going to ask you but feel like that's crossing a boundary you may not be comfortable with!
Hey Karl, I personally don’t have paywalls so I’m not really an expert on that, but I know Sarah Fay @ Substack writers at work writes a lot about paywalls and setting boundaries on one’s writing! Hope you find some helpful information and good luck!
This was refreshing to read, at a time when I’m in a healing process. Expansion is the word I’ve been looking for to explain where I’m at to other people. And I agree about the point of opening up to start healing and setting boundaries. The definition given about it teaching others how to treat us and us how to respect ourselves is apt.
Fellow fan of expansion over here. Well, actually I tend to use the word 'enlarging' but the point is the same I think. It's all about bring made larger in spirit and psyche and soul than just the linearity of capitalism. To be expanded feels like a 'whole-ing' process and feels good from the inside :) GO you dear Jen! Xx
Thank you so much, Ruth! There’s indeed expansion and impact in the work you do— in nature, in therapy, in movement, and in writing. You’re certainly an expansion/enlarging expert (and it shows). 🩶
I believe deeply in interconnectedness and that things happen for a reason. I found my way to Substack and in doing that I found my way to Jen - and a handful of other writers - who I feel are walking beside me (their words are supporting me ) as I go through a pretty big (positive) change in my life! … this is another post from Jen for me to read this Sunday morning that makes me feel like she’s in the room with me having a conversation! ❤️
Another dart buried deep in the bullseye, Jen. Thanks for expressing this so beautifully.
As well as having the boundaries you mention, the sanest people have successfully dissolved their egos. Their hearts and souls have seized back control of their actions, creating the capability and conditions for expansion. One day, I hope to join them.
Perfect perspective and insight. Expansion in the perfect term and ideal to strive for in life. Its limitless. Progress either forward or backward has an end point, you hit the ceiling or fall to the floor.
Hi Sharon! That’s so kind of you. Unfortunately I don’t have that option, but I appreciate your time and support. Perhaps I’ll look into offering a one-time donation option. Thank you 🫶
Let me know when you get it set up, Jen - I sponsor several Substack authors with "one timers" from time to time. I am pretty certain Substack has the "tools" listed for that on their writer's corner section.
As always, this is quite an insightful post. Thanks for sharing your about "expanding." I resonated with that in so many levels!
Last year I also had a breakthrough after burning out. I quit my job a took a time off. Since then, I feel I have expanded in so many areas beyond professional growth. Now I have a word to explain my process! It has been an expansion process. ❤️
Really enjoyed this piece Jen. The progress vs expansion discussion helped to shift a paradigm that I have been holding onto in my own life. In some ways I have been waiting for time to pass just to put some distance between me and some choices/changes over the last few years but I have also seen the benefits they have given me. Thinking of that time as “expanding” is quite freeing and makes it more digestible.
Boundaries is such an interesting topic and one I have to work on with so many clients. It’s amazing how impactful they can be to our mental health, yet how incredibly difficult they are for people to hold them when they are in the thick of it.
Thank you, Cody! And between your newsletter and podcast and the work that you do on personal growth and overcoming limitations, you’re certainly expanding. I can’t imagine another word to describe it
Thank you Jen. You're brave.
What we measure defines who we become, as people and organizations. Metrics can drive improvement, or the car off of a cliff. Choosing the correct metric is risky business, get it wrong and we're off for a decade.
Also been thinking about boundaries. I, too, had a corporate gig that left me feeling empty, and it was exactly what I had worked very hard to achieve.
Prior to the corporate gig I had enlisted in the Army to escape my circumstances in my hometown, and maybe myself. It was the right choice for me. Finished undergrad/grad school, learned a foreign language in Monterey, lived overseas, and grew up quite a bit-mostly because of boundaries & consequences.
The emptiness of corporate America pushed me back to the military just as the wars were kicking off.
I didn't know it until then that my work needed to matter. The Army in a time of war was meaningful, it mattered, and I loved it.
Didn't want to go to war when I joined, but once I was on the team and war was imminent--I wanted to play my role. Probably an XY thing--but we need to know we are not cowards. Do we have what it takes? Can we can be loyal to our friends, our fellow Soldiers? Can I face down the BIG SCARY. I wasn't afraid of death as much as I was afraid of failing those who counted on me. It is REAL. War is a decade distilled into one year.
War requires an expansive effort, but there is a cost. Drinking Everclear vs vodka.
It is scarier to work as an artist, an entrepreneur, a dreamer--mostly because we do this alone.
Watched Baby Reindeer recently. Do not know if I recommend it. But it has left a mark. I'm still unpacking--but in the end I see it as the logical outcome of no boundaries, incorrect metrics, and an absence or opacity of values. Dark. Patterns, especially negative patterns are especially difficult to drop. Trauma is passed on genetically, and familiar pain is often more attractive than unknown freedom.
This blog leaves me feeling light and hopeful. Baby Reindeer not so much.
bsn
Brian,
You say this blog brings you light and hope, but you bring me light and hope.
I understand where you’re coming from re: the corporate job. I was talking to my partner about this just this morning. I felt so drained “working” to pursue someone else’s dreams in a corporation that I would come home from work emotionally exhausted from putting my needs aside all day long. Then I’d binge food, social media, alcohol, and “hang out” as a numbing and/or distraction mechanism.
And I agree that there’s inherent meaning to work that is “mission critical.” While I can’t fathom how meaningful it is to serve in the military (thank you for your service—without the courage of people like you, we wouldn’t all have the freedom to pursue meaningful work in this country), I do have a sense that the creative work I’m doing is rather “mission critical;” if not for others, then at least for myself.
I write these “5 Big Ideas” primarily for myself because I make mistakes often, I follow the voice of ego instead of the voice of reason often, and I get stuck in harmful patterns often. But I know these are incredibly universal human things, so I put this advice out there in case others can benefit from them, too.
You say I’m brave for putting this out there, but I think you’re brave. For facing the BIG SCARY, for pursuing work that’s REAL, for your loyalty and courage and fear of letting others down.
Thank you for your courage. It’s inspiring. It’s “in spirit.”
The word expansion really resonates with me. I’ve considered evolution and growth as value words for me but they felt too one-directional and with judgment (towards “better”/ improved). Expansion feels right.
🫶
Great post, Jen. Yes to expansion and becoming bigger and better version of ourselves. Walt Whitman’s words come to mind: “I am large, I contain multitudes.”
Yes! 🙌🏽
I love Whitman’s poem, Song of Myself, for a multitude of reasons 🙏
Well said, as usual. Interesting that you mentioned boundaries because I need help setting up the paywall on my Substack, and I was going to ask you but feel like that's crossing a boundary you may not be comfortable with!
Hey Karl, I personally don’t have paywalls so I’m not really an expert on that, but I know Sarah Fay @ Substack writers at work writes a lot about paywalls and setting boundaries on one’s writing! Hope you find some helpful information and good luck!
Hi Jen! I was having trouble with Stripe but figured it out. Thanks!
Glad you figured it out!
This was refreshing to read, at a time when I’m in a healing process. Expansion is the word I’ve been looking for to explain where I’m at to other people. And I agree about the point of opening up to start healing and setting boundaries. The definition given about it teaching others how to treat us and us how to respect ourselves is apt.
Thank you for writing this.
Thank you, Onyeka 🫶
Rooting for you!
Fellow fan of expansion over here. Well, actually I tend to use the word 'enlarging' but the point is the same I think. It's all about bring made larger in spirit and psyche and soul than just the linearity of capitalism. To be expanded feels like a 'whole-ing' process and feels good from the inside :) GO you dear Jen! Xx
Thank you so much, Ruth! There’s indeed expansion and impact in the work you do— in nature, in therapy, in movement, and in writing. You’re certainly an expansion/enlarging expert (and it shows). 🩶
I believe deeply in interconnectedness and that things happen for a reason. I found my way to Substack and in doing that I found my way to Jen - and a handful of other writers - who I feel are walking beside me (their words are supporting me ) as I go through a pretty big (positive) change in my life! … this is another post from Jen for me to read this Sunday morning that makes me feel like she’s in the room with me having a conversation! ❤️
Thank you so much, Janine! You are a light among us 🫶
Another dart buried deep in the bullseye, Jen. Thanks for expressing this so beautifully.
As well as having the boundaries you mention, the sanest people have successfully dissolved their egos. Their hearts and souls have seized back control of their actions, creating the capability and conditions for expansion. One day, I hope to join them.
You and me both, Graeme 🙏
I’m so glad the idea of progress vs. expansion in my last piece resonated as deeply for you as it did for me! Love what you’re doing here. ❤️
Thank you, Emily! The feeling is mutual 🤗
Thank you so much for your post. Very insightful. And right on 💯
Thank you, George! 🤗
Perfect perspective and insight. Expansion in the perfect term and ideal to strive for in life. Its limitless. Progress either forward or backward has an end point, you hit the ceiling or fall to the floor.
Exactly 🤗
This is beautiful! I never considered the progress vs. expansion paradigm before.
Thanks, Chris! So glad I was able to share it with you 🤗
Thank you!
Love the clarity with which you write. Brilliant!
Thank you, Minaz! It means a lot 🙏
Beautiful realization in your life walk, Jen....I would like to "buy you a cup 'o java" - do you have that button installed on your Substack?
Shalom!
Hi Sharon! That’s so kind of you. Unfortunately I don’t have that option, but I appreciate your time and support. Perhaps I’ll look into offering a one-time donation option. Thank you 🫶
Let me know when you get it set up, Jen - I sponsor several Substack authors with "one timers" from time to time. I am pretty certain Substack has the "tools" listed for that on their writer's corner section.
As always, this is quite an insightful post. Thanks for sharing your about "expanding." I resonated with that in so many levels!
Last year I also had a breakthrough after burning out. I quit my job a took a time off. Since then, I feel I have expanded in so many areas beyond professional growth. Now I have a word to explain my process! It has been an expansion process. ❤️
Thanks for sharing
Thank you, Antony! And congratulations on making the leap and doing what’s right for you