Wow, calling me out HARD CORE on this one!! I have been laid off since July, and what I’d LIKE to do and what I’m QUALIFIED to do after a 20 year career in it are two different things. I’d like to be a professional genealogist and give people families. I did that for my grandfather 30 years ago when I was in college. He was essentially an orphan, and there was an entire family who had no idea he existed. Pretty much the high point of my lie. I’d like to do that for other people.
What I’ve done for my career is manage contracts for government contracting. As you can imagine, it pays more than genealogy. Of course, that’s not the only thing worth having in life, but I am on my own and have a lifestyle that I’m accustomed to, so... selling my house isn’t optimal right now and I just had the best, most beautiful fireplace built last year, and I love my house... So I guess I could get a roommate, but I’m almost 50 and really don’t want a roommate.
Thanks for taking this trip with me... We’ll see where I end up.
I definitely could. Two mitigating factors right now are: I have two more classes to complete my masters degree- one starts Jan 15 and the next in March. Then I’m going to fly out to Colorado to graduate in the first weekend of June. Masters is in Organizational Leadership. Other mitigating factor has been dearth of motivation. This year was ROUGH. I feel like I have so many plans for after June, including a long awaited breast reduction. I downloaded the paperwork to become a certified genealogist, so that’s something to pursue this year. I turn 50 in November, so I have a lot to look forward to this coming year!
Wow! You certainly do! :) it will be a year of fruition—just takes a while! Same here, and I’m also turning 50 (April)—a lot of long-term work coming through the soil, but never fast enough. Patience is hard, but we’ll get there! Congrats on all fronts (and yay Colorado, that’s where I am!) ;)
YAY 50! Also, Colorado is so awesome. My degree will be from CSU, and this will be the 2nd time I’ve been to the state - first time was in 2018 and we went my birthday week, so it was right before ski season, and NO ONE was in Breckenridge. It was SO AWESOME. We went to the Wild Animal Sanctuary in Keenesburg, which I am going to have my whole family (parents, sister, nephew) visit with me. When we went in 2018, I fell in love with the place and became a “founder” for their refuge site. My parents are in their mid 70s now, and I wouldn’t move away at this point, but Colorado is very high on the list of places I’d move to!!
Wow! I never heard of refuge but we just got back from breck yesterday! In laws will be here in a minute (from mass) and that could be a great activity for the whole extended family! Perfect timing and thank you and congrats again!!!
FWIW, I have maintained a giant family tree and done lots of genealogy through the last 30 years, so it’s not like I dropped it. And it’s a HECK of a lot easier to do than it was in the mid 1990s!
Just a thought here, but maybe even check LinkedIn for any startups in the genealogy space? Given your experience and enthusiasm, its likely you might be a good fit - maybe even reach out directly to the founders. I got into a Berkeley startup that way once (it took some time, though). You could possibly even change the way families find each other.
The possibilities are endless and its obvious this is a passion and a calling! Best wishes for you in the NY!
Wow. Every single sentence of this sang out to me. Thank you so much!
A former pro opera soloist, career and friendships ended by the madness, who has moved (unofficially as yet 🤣) to Buenos Aires and is learning to tango, trusting the universe to provide, and honouring my body through the dance.
Sending love, and all the very best for the year to come.
Thank you Tobias! It means so much! I do a lot of work cutting back and editing content to get a point across (since its what were all looking for these days).
Faith. Just knowing. That is one strong pull from beyond bone deep in our body that we must follow. Yes to all five. Great writing, and happy new year Jen! 🙏❤️
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. As a retired teacher after 33 years, I can say that helping our kids find what moves them is a key element missing in our education system. As teachers, we try to nurture those seeds, but the bureaucracy, created by those far removed from the classroom which we are forced to deal with, limits us.
I retired early, at 58, as I just couldn't see myself continuing. I was on District and site committees, was Dept chair, and actively involved in our union trying to work around the stuff piled onto our plates beyond teaching. I loved my students but hated the bureaucracy. I was exhausted.
It brings joy to my heart to hear this from a former teacher. It's obvious that many people become teachers because they want to make a difference in children's lives, and the best way to do that is to help kids find "what moves them."
But being stuck in a system that doesn't promote this kind of "learning," many teachers lose sight of that ultimate goal. I love that you've held this truth close to your heart all these years - you'll be missed in your profession, but as you've shown here, you still hold the power to teach. 🩶
Work could be meaningful, we could feel a sense of purpose as our labour provides something of tangible value to meet people's needs. But there is often little opportunity for mastery or meaning in our BS jobs, that sense of meaning and mastery can often only be found by following the pathless path, or in our personal hobbies and interests.
We live in an anti-mastery world that prioritises the short-term quick-fix and instant gratification over the careful and deliberate work of the craftsperson. Cheap, shoddy, mass-produced junk over the work of the artisan. Our workplaces, even in the information, are all factories, extracting mind and muscle as inputs - extruded into consumerist junk and trivial services to feed mimetically manufactured desires.
One of the greatest challenges of our current malaise is finding meaning, and mastery, in our work.
But we make the choice to agree with what the system tells us and allow it to dictate what we do with our lives (whether consciously or unconsciously).
I believe there’s many other ways to live a life full of meaning and mastery along the far borders of the system that consumes so many.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, John. You’ve given me a lot to think about.
I quit my job before Christmas with no idea what is next, due to it no longer giving me the joy it once did. It was a process of slowly letting go and de-identifying with that version of myself, a year of trying to find a workable compromise, trimming down hours, it turns out there wasn’t one. The cultural and my family programming of being productive, having a job to have value is so strong. Having space to slow down and hear the inner voice feels necessary and yet completely unsupported in our culture.
Thank you Mark. Praying for you and wishing you peace and understanding during this time. Quitting is hard, committing to the next thing can be even harder.
After 14 years I’ll be saying good bye to an Active Duty Air Force career while dodging deep criticism and ridicule for my decision. Only a select few have been able to see past the surface level compensation for an inordinate amount of stress and instability on my family and I. This stage of my life is coming to an end and my new journey begins in 2024. My pursuit changes so I can match who I am with what I will do.
Excited for you, Ivan. I’ve faced similar dissent from family members for my decisions as well.
But only YOU know what’s best for you. And it sounds like you’re onto something great. Keep believing in yourself and you’ll become the person you wish to be.
You’ve given me SO much to think about here. I left a successful career earlier than planned, but now I know there is a reason. I needed the time and space to fulfill my passion for writing. And I’m thankful for that!
I’m sure your transition has been incredibly tough for you, but I’m hopeful you’ve come out on the other side a better person. Looking forward to reading your writing!
Your insight resonated with me. I quit a 30 year career 5 years ago this month, and I wish I'd had your wisdom about how you can't know your calling when you are still in "the system." I raced to find "my purpose" like it was a lost set of car keys. It wasn't until I took time to rest and reflect (and returned to yoga!) that I could hear my "self." Longer still before I could detox from system-think and accept what my "self" was telling me. I'm not sure I believe in the idea that every human has one true "purpose," except this, a quote from Nietsche I have tattooed on my arm: BECOME WHO YOU ARE. ❤️☘️ I look forward to reading more of your work. Happy New Year!
I was reading your piece again, it’s great 👍 but there is another way to look at life and do things, at least that’s how I function sometimes, for instance, before quitting your job [when the decision is made] have a plan B ready...and to have it ready take moments of introspection, so that your next move is for the best and for your happiness...and sometimes, I would advise to not make a decision, because it may be too hard or the risks an consequences may be too much, search for all the possibilities and options, wait and let the universe [or whatever you want to call it] make the decision for you, because everything happens for a good reason and situations work themselves out for the best....trust me on that one...
I understand where you’re coming from. I quit when I finally had a plan b. But it wasn’t until months later when I realized that plan b wasn’t going to provide me with any more purpose than plan a. It was yet another distraction.
If quitting is an option (which I recognize that it’s not for everyone) sometimes doing so while recognizing the virtue of poverty (or at least reducing consumption) can help one more than jumping to a new distraction (eg, plan b).
A lot to think about here. Thanks so much for sharing!
Wow I felt so called out (in a good way)! This is so accurate-- you can’t see clearly when you are in the system. Could have used this piece 5 years ago.
Let me first say that I am sorry to hear of your experiences and struggles with your body and I am glad to hear that you have been able to develop at least some peace and acceptance.
I loved that you brought up this theory of dualism. I happen to be reading a (way too big) book on the history of psychology that has explored dualism in depth. Did you know it started with Socrates and then Plato thousands of years before Descartes? Aristotle challenged this theory after Plato’s death but the Christian church (and Descartes) dismissed it. The book has been fascinating but is nearly 800 pages.
Wow, calling me out HARD CORE on this one!! I have been laid off since July, and what I’d LIKE to do and what I’m QUALIFIED to do after a 20 year career in it are two different things. I’d like to be a professional genealogist and give people families. I did that for my grandfather 30 years ago when I was in college. He was essentially an orphan, and there was an entire family who had no idea he existed. Pretty much the high point of my lie. I’d like to do that for other people.
What I’ve done for my career is manage contracts for government contracting. As you can imagine, it pays more than genealogy. Of course, that’s not the only thing worth having in life, but I am on my own and have a lifestyle that I’m accustomed to, so... selling my house isn’t optimal right now and I just had the best, most beautiful fireplace built last year, and I love my house... So I guess I could get a roommate, but I’m almost 50 and really don’t want a roommate.
Thanks for taking this trip with me... We’ll see where I end up.
AH! Tough decisions to be made here.
I'm looking forward to hearing how things pan out for you and I know you'll ultimately make the right choices for you 🩶
The fireplace though... any photos?
Here’s the before and after. There are MANY photos of the build.
https://www.instagram.com/p/Cjir7cZLnq-/?igsh=ZWI2YzEzYmMxYg==
Oh my gosh! That’s an entirely different room!
It’s beautiful!!!
I know! I love it SO MUCH! 9 years in the making, too.
A true labor of love!
Soooooo many. I’m on the app but I’ll post tomorrow from the website.
Ooooh! Can you do it on the side until you can pursue that full-time, which feels so so so possible with this level of passion????
I definitely could. Two mitigating factors right now are: I have two more classes to complete my masters degree- one starts Jan 15 and the next in March. Then I’m going to fly out to Colorado to graduate in the first weekend of June. Masters is in Organizational Leadership. Other mitigating factor has been dearth of motivation. This year was ROUGH. I feel like I have so many plans for after June, including a long awaited breast reduction. I downloaded the paperwork to become a certified genealogist, so that’s something to pursue this year. I turn 50 in November, so I have a lot to look forward to this coming year!
Wow! You certainly do! :) it will be a year of fruition—just takes a while! Same here, and I’m also turning 50 (April)—a lot of long-term work coming through the soil, but never fast enough. Patience is hard, but we’ll get there! Congrats on all fronts (and yay Colorado, that’s where I am!) ;)
YAY 50! Also, Colorado is so awesome. My degree will be from CSU, and this will be the 2nd time I’ve been to the state - first time was in 2018 and we went my birthday week, so it was right before ski season, and NO ONE was in Breckenridge. It was SO AWESOME. We went to the Wild Animal Sanctuary in Keenesburg, which I am going to have my whole family (parents, sister, nephew) visit with me. When we went in 2018, I fell in love with the place and became a “founder” for their refuge site. My parents are in their mid 70s now, and I wouldn’t move away at this point, but Colorado is very high on the list of places I’d move to!!
Wow! I never heard of refuge but we just got back from breck yesterday! In laws will be here in a minute (from mass) and that could be a great activity for the whole extended family! Perfect timing and thank you and congrats again!!!
It is amazing. You will love it.
FWIW, I have maintained a giant family tree and done lots of genealogy through the last 30 years, so it’s not like I dropped it. And it’s a HECK of a lot easier to do than it was in the mid 1990s!
Just a thought here, but maybe even check LinkedIn for any startups in the genealogy space? Given your experience and enthusiasm, its likely you might be a good fit - maybe even reach out directly to the founders. I got into a Berkeley startup that way once (it took some time, though). You could possibly even change the way families find each other.
The possibilities are endless and its obvious this is a passion and a calling! Best wishes for you in the NY!
Oral history? I was in programs for a year each in TN & NH
Wow. Every single sentence of this sang out to me. Thank you so much!
A former pro opera soloist, career and friendships ended by the madness, who has moved (unofficially as yet 🤣) to Buenos Aires and is learning to tango, trusting the universe to provide, and honouring my body through the dance.
Sending love, and all the very best for the year to come.
Katy x
I love this! Sending you lots of love, energy, and vibes too! 🩶
Happy New Year!
Wow. I seldom read an article of thid length in such detail like this one. Very inspiring. Very motivating, and great advice. Thanks, Jen
Thank you Tobias! It means so much! I do a lot of work cutting back and editing content to get a point across (since its what were all looking for these days).
I appreciates you!
Faith. Just knowing. That is one strong pull from beyond bone deep in our body that we must follow. Yes to all five. Great writing, and happy new year Jen! 🙏❤️
Thank you Jamie! I truly appreciate you and your support!
(book is otw, by the way!)
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this. As a retired teacher after 33 years, I can say that helping our kids find what moves them is a key element missing in our education system. As teachers, we try to nurture those seeds, but the bureaucracy, created by those far removed from the classroom which we are forced to deal with, limits us.
I retired early, at 58, as I just couldn't see myself continuing. I was on District and site committees, was Dept chair, and actively involved in our union trying to work around the stuff piled onto our plates beyond teaching. I loved my students but hated the bureaucracy. I was exhausted.
It brings joy to my heart to hear this from a former teacher. It's obvious that many people become teachers because they want to make a difference in children's lives, and the best way to do that is to help kids find "what moves them."
But being stuck in a system that doesn't promote this kind of "learning," many teachers lose sight of that ultimate goal. I love that you've held this truth close to your heart all these years - you'll be missed in your profession, but as you've shown here, you still hold the power to teach. 🩶
Work could be meaningful, we could feel a sense of purpose as our labour provides something of tangible value to meet people's needs. But there is often little opportunity for mastery or meaning in our BS jobs, that sense of meaning and mastery can often only be found by following the pathless path, or in our personal hobbies and interests.
We live in an anti-mastery world that prioritises the short-term quick-fix and instant gratification over the careful and deliberate work of the craftsperson. Cheap, shoddy, mass-produced junk over the work of the artisan. Our workplaces, even in the information, are all factories, extracting mind and muscle as inputs - extruded into consumerist junk and trivial services to feed mimetically manufactured desires.
One of the greatest challenges of our current malaise is finding meaning, and mastery, in our work.
That’s what the system would have us believe.
But we make the choice to agree with what the system tells us and allow it to dictate what we do with our lives (whether consciously or unconsciously).
I believe there’s many other ways to live a life full of meaning and mastery along the far borders of the system that consumes so many.
Thanks for sharing your thoughts here, John. You’ve given me a lot to think about.
I quit my job before Christmas with no idea what is next, due to it no longer giving me the joy it once did. It was a process of slowly letting go and de-identifying with that version of myself, a year of trying to find a workable compromise, trimming down hours, it turns out there wasn’t one. The cultural and my family programming of being productive, having a job to have value is so strong. Having space to slow down and hear the inner voice feels necessary and yet completely unsupported in our culture.
Thanks for the breadcrumbs!
Thank you Mark. Praying for you and wishing you peace and understanding during this time. Quitting is hard, committing to the next thing can be even harder.
You speak to me yet again.
After 14 years I’ll be saying good bye to an Active Duty Air Force career while dodging deep criticism and ridicule for my decision. Only a select few have been able to see past the surface level compensation for an inordinate amount of stress and instability on my family and I. This stage of my life is coming to an end and my new journey begins in 2024. My pursuit changes so I can match who I am with what I will do.
Thank you as always for the introspection.
May yoor pursuit provide the devotion similar your previous one.
Excited for you, Ivan. I’ve faced similar dissent from family members for my decisions as well.
But only YOU know what’s best for you. And it sounds like you’re onto something great. Keep believing in yourself and you’ll become the person you wish to be.
You’ve given me SO much to think about here. I left a successful career earlier than planned, but now I know there is a reason. I needed the time and space to fulfill my passion for writing. And I’m thankful for that!
I’m sure your transition has been incredibly tough for you, but I’m hopeful you’ve come out on the other side a better person. Looking forward to reading your writing!
Your insight resonated with me. I quit a 30 year career 5 years ago this month, and I wish I'd had your wisdom about how you can't know your calling when you are still in "the system." I raced to find "my purpose" like it was a lost set of car keys. It wasn't until I took time to rest and reflect (and returned to yoga!) that I could hear my "self." Longer still before I could detox from system-think and accept what my "self" was telling me. I'm not sure I believe in the idea that every human has one true "purpose," except this, a quote from Nietsche I have tattooed on my arm: BECOME WHO YOU ARE. ❤️☘️ I look forward to reading more of your work. Happy New Year!
I love that Nietzsche quote and I completely agree. Life is about becoming more of who we are. And the purpose is in the pursuit.
My yoga practice also helped me reunite with myself. ♥️🙏
Im so grateful your support, Catherine!
Faith is a second cousin to hope, and if you lose either, life can become too bleak.
Exactly! 🙏
I was reading your piece again, it’s great 👍 but there is another way to look at life and do things, at least that’s how I function sometimes, for instance, before quitting your job [when the decision is made] have a plan B ready...and to have it ready take moments of introspection, so that your next move is for the best and for your happiness...and sometimes, I would advise to not make a decision, because it may be too hard or the risks an consequences may be too much, search for all the possibilities and options, wait and let the universe [or whatever you want to call it] make the decision for you, because everything happens for a good reason and situations work themselves out for the best....trust me on that one...
I understand where you’re coming from. I quit when I finally had a plan b. But it wasn’t until months later when I realized that plan b wasn’t going to provide me with any more purpose than plan a. It was yet another distraction.
If quitting is an option (which I recognize that it’s not for everyone) sometimes doing so while recognizing the virtue of poverty (or at least reducing consumption) can help one more than jumping to a new distraction (eg, plan b).
A lot to think about here. Thanks so much for sharing!
It’s true, what pushes you to succeed after quitting it’s being on survival mode...that removes the distraction factor...
Good advice, though for many the deck of opportunity has few cards.
Mind over matter, faith over cards.
Wow I felt so called out (in a good way)! This is so accurate-- you can’t see clearly when you are in the system. Could have used this piece 5 years ago.
🙏
Let me first say that I am sorry to hear of your experiences and struggles with your body and I am glad to hear that you have been able to develop at least some peace and acceptance.
I loved that you brought up this theory of dualism. I happen to be reading a (way too big) book on the history of psychology that has explored dualism in depth. Did you know it started with Socrates and then Plato thousands of years before Descartes? Aristotle challenged this theory after Plato’s death but the Christian church (and Descartes) dismissed it. The book has been fascinating but is nearly 800 pages.
Wow!! What’s the book? Sounds enlightening
It’s called The Story of Psychology by Morton Hunt. It’s going to take me forever with my lack of free time but it has been really good so far.
Got it saved on goodreads, thanks!
Thanks for this great article!
Thank you Kay 🤗