First, yay for talk therapy! Been doing it forever. Definitely helps. In addition, literally moving trauma through the body is so powerful. I have worked with Karena (@HelloInnerLight on IG) multiple times through the years. She is so kind. In just one powerful session, which is much like guided, interactive hypnosis (which I ALSO highly recommend), I made substantial progress regarding my personal mother wound. Trauma. Ugh. Just when we think, “Fixed it!” it shows us the next layer to be addressed.
Second, I am in the middle of The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control and am currently recommending it to evvvvvveryone. She reframes perfectionism entirely and it’s so validating and HELPFUL.
Awesome message, and may our Creator God bless you! So as a believer of Jesus our Christ your message(s) are critical for other's to hear. He has a call/message I hope you continue doing. Be encouraged that He who began a good work (His anointing) in you will faithfully complete it in (and through you). And yes, Apage love is the highest expression of "love" because it's Perfect/Godliness expressed (though we are still imperfect/frailty humans iin it's expressed/revealed form).
Beautiful writing Jen! Everything totally resonates and makes me connect all 5 at resilience. There’s a beautiful article on the neuroscience of resilience by Golnaz Tabibnia from the University of California in 2020. It basically says ramp up the positive (exercise, gratitude, nutrition, sleep, social connection, etc.), down regulate the negative (talk therapy, support), and this amazing thing called Transcendence! Being aware of something bigger than ourselves on the journey for me to we (nature, spitituality, awe, presence). Resilience is born from all three and dances with fulfilment on the journey to that imperfect sense of being aware of “being”where we constantly disappear, only to arrive all over again. I’ve included the article below. Thank you so much for leading the way.
I couldn’t agree with you more. I fervidly believe that our society’s spiritual deprivation is the root cause of the vast majority of “mental health” problems. It’s not so much a lack of mental wellbeing we’re facing than it is spiritual. And - relating to that article you shared - I believe humans default to the “default mode network” more frequently because we believe in ego rather than (as you put it) something bigger than ourselves.
This is a fascinating article btw, I love how they tied it into resilience (as it’s been a buzz word in corporate circles for a few yrs now). Looking forward to diving deeper into the methodology- thank you so much for sharing!
Ah yes, the brute that is the "perfectionist" within...mine is a source of great consternation - as are my vague attempts at normalcy. Like you, I'm comfortable with not being "normal"😉. Thanks for your beautifulpy written guidance. It all helps keep my spirit nourished x
Well written piece; thank you for writing. And yes, normal is a myth. Though, I wonder; is there variance to the “normal” setting on a washing machines?
I think of “perfection” as a double-edged sword. Some great work comes from the urge to do things well-- even close to”perfect.” But we have a small set of skills in which this is useful. So when perfectionism seeps into all aspects of our life, it is toxic.
I completely agree. It’s a fine line between helpful and hurtful. Obviously, we want to put our best work out there. But if we believe that it has to be perfect (which is impossible), the belief can be crippling. I’m still very much figuring this all out myself and feel very similarly
Thanks for sharing your insights. The 'Come Alive' quote by Howard Thurman is placed on the wall facing me in my writing office. It is one of the quotes that set me on my internal revolution.
Thanks for these reflections. Perfectionism can be all consuming and often hinders understanding the reality of a situation. While our lives are being driven more and more to NOT make mistakes, we have to persevere with accepting failure as a huge part of risk taking and trying to discover our potential and dreams. Some wonderful quotes you have shared too!
I enjoyed the read. Thank you. Fitting in is highly overrated. The ‘normal’ setting on the washing machine comment made me laugh. It’s funny because it’s true. Lauren Sapala has some interesting things to say about procrastination and perfectionism. Key thought from her workshop: ‘Most of us think it’s our fault, a flaw that needs fixing when it’s a scar that needs healing.’ Thanks again for the read.x
OMG, I have so much to talk with you about this!!
First, yay for talk therapy! Been doing it forever. Definitely helps. In addition, literally moving trauma through the body is so powerful. I have worked with Karena (@HelloInnerLight on IG) multiple times through the years. She is so kind. In just one powerful session, which is much like guided, interactive hypnosis (which I ALSO highly recommend), I made substantial progress regarding my personal mother wound. Trauma. Ugh. Just when we think, “Fixed it!” it shows us the next layer to be addressed.
Second, I am in the middle of The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control and am currently recommending it to evvvvvveryone. She reframes perfectionism entirely and it’s so validating and HELPFUL.
Third, hugs!
Wow!!! I love these recommendations! I’ll have to check out Karena’s work - she sounds like a miracle worker 🙏
I was also gifted The Perfectionists Guide a couple months ago and have yet to crack it open, but now I’m compelled to!
Thank you, Jen! Your wise words come at just the right time for me. 🙏
🙏
Awesome message, and may our Creator God bless you! So as a believer of Jesus our Christ your message(s) are critical for other's to hear. He has a call/message I hope you continue doing. Be encouraged that He who began a good work (His anointing) in you will faithfully complete it in (and through you). And yes, Apage love is the highest expression of "love" because it's Perfect/Godliness expressed (though we are still imperfect/frailty humans iin it's expressed/revealed form).
I truly appreciate you and your wholesome message! Amen!
Beautiful writing Jen! Everything totally resonates and makes me connect all 5 at resilience. There’s a beautiful article on the neuroscience of resilience by Golnaz Tabibnia from the University of California in 2020. It basically says ramp up the positive (exercise, gratitude, nutrition, sleep, social connection, etc.), down regulate the negative (talk therapy, support), and this amazing thing called Transcendence! Being aware of something bigger than ourselves on the journey for me to we (nature, spitituality, awe, presence). Resilience is born from all three and dances with fulfilment on the journey to that imperfect sense of being aware of “being”where we constantly disappear, only to arrive all over again. I’ve included the article below. Thank you so much for leading the way.
https://bpb-us-e2.wpmucdn.com/faculty.sites.uci.edu/dist/e/935/files/2022/03/Tabibnia20-NBR.pdf
I couldn’t agree with you more. I fervidly believe that our society’s spiritual deprivation is the root cause of the vast majority of “mental health” problems. It’s not so much a lack of mental wellbeing we’re facing than it is spiritual. And - relating to that article you shared - I believe humans default to the “default mode network” more frequently because we believe in ego rather than (as you put it) something bigger than ourselves.
This is a fascinating article btw, I love how they tied it into resilience (as it’s been a buzz word in corporate circles for a few yrs now). Looking forward to diving deeper into the methodology- thank you so much for sharing!
100% yes to your commentary... thank you 🙏♥️
I totally agree that the magic is in the default mode network -DMN! I’m writing on that as we speak!
I think I might have fallen in love with your insights and eloquence Jamie!
I start ART - accelerated resolution therapy - December 28 to deal with trauma ... My therapist said my trauma should be resolved in 5 or 6 sessions.
Haven’t heard of it until now, but def looking into it!!! Best wishes to you 🤗
I’ll need to look into this. Thank you for sharing
Ah yes, the brute that is the "perfectionist" within...mine is a source of great consternation - as are my vague attempts at normalcy. Like you, I'm comfortable with not being "normal"😉. Thanks for your beautifulpy written guidance. It all helps keep my spirit nourished x
Thank you for your kind words!
Being present to ourselves and being alive is the best! Thanks for the reminder.😊
🤗
Well written piece; thank you for writing. And yes, normal is a myth. Though, I wonder; is there variance to the “normal” setting on a washing machines?
Perhaps! Love the depth in your train of thought
I think of “perfection” as a double-edged sword. Some great work comes from the urge to do things well-- even close to”perfect.” But we have a small set of skills in which this is useful. So when perfectionism seeps into all aspects of our life, it is toxic.
I completely agree. It’s a fine line between helpful and hurtful. Obviously, we want to put our best work out there. But if we believe that it has to be perfect (which is impossible), the belief can be crippling. I’m still very much figuring this all out myself and feel very similarly
The author of The Perfectionist’s Guide to Losing Control frames it as adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism. I highly recommend the book.
Listened to this on my walk 🫶 thank you
♥️
Very heartfelt and interesting anecdote, thanks for sharing. Did you watch the 2010 film adaptation of Eat Pray Life?
I did! Wasn’t a big fan compared to the book though!
Wow what a great article. strong beleiver in catharsis.
My site is dedicated to the artist that makes it. www.saxxoncreative.com
https://x.com/MayorsMedia/status/1736803168464363596?s=20
I just started following that is a wonderful quote and your image is fantastic it is very inviting.
Thank you! 🙏
Thanks for sharing your insights. The 'Come Alive' quote by Howard Thurman is placed on the wall facing me in my writing office. It is one of the quotes that set me on my internal revolution.
Thanks for these reflections. Perfectionism can be all consuming and often hinders understanding the reality of a situation. While our lives are being driven more and more to NOT make mistakes, we have to persevere with accepting failure as a huge part of risk taking and trying to discover our potential and dreams. Some wonderful quotes you have shared too!
Thank you so much, Philip! 🥰
I enjoyed the read. Thank you. Fitting in is highly overrated. The ‘normal’ setting on the washing machine comment made me laugh. It’s funny because it’s true. Lauren Sapala has some interesting things to say about procrastination and perfectionism. Key thought from her workshop: ‘Most of us think it’s our fault, a flaw that needs fixing when it’s a scar that needs healing.’ Thanks again for the read.x
I love that quote! We all want to improve ourselves and can easily overlook that what we might really need first is healing. Thank you for sharing!